2023 - A roller coaster

Hi! While it is not exactly the new year anymore, it is somewhat still in the Chinese New Year period and I guess we can roll with that 😬 

Like my cholesterol levels, 2023 was a roller coaster (of emotions). 

Q1 of 2023 was truly when I started doing quite a few things. I tried going to yoga/pilates classes for the first time in January. Most of my classmates were mostly around my mom's age, but they were clearly stronger and more flexible than I was.  Having said that, for the first time in my life, I think I had some semblance of abs forming. This reminds me that I should go back to those classes once my schedule calms down...  

Then the wedding season soon started. I got 3 wedding invitations from friends and colleagues in a month. Mind you, these were the first non-family wedding so it was pretty exciting to me. Catching up with friends I have not seen in years and/or seeing my colleagues in a different setting was lots of fun! The trip to Bandung in particular was something to remember, indeed. 10-hour train ride, scrambling to find good wi-fi for meetings, not knowing where to sleep that one night, those were just a small portion of the highlight. These back-to-back weddings also prompted me to take some make-up classes in March, just to have a bit more confidence in my almost non-existent skills. 

In April, I moved out. I had been wanting to try living alone for a while by that point in time. But the situation at home steeled my want to a concrete action. I had a blast! Planned and cooked my own meals, went grocery shopping, and met up with friends so easily because they lived nearby. Oh, how I miss those days. The only negative was the long commute to the office, but it was a-alright because of just how much I enjoyed living there.  

May soon came and it was time to go to Korea! A trip 3 years in the making finally went out of the group chat. Given my 2 friends will be married soon, this trip might be our last for a long time before (hopefully) the next one. Caught up into the night, walked thousands of steps, and ate a lot more than we usually do. We even visited a police station for one left phone. Panic really could make you do anything (and at the same time suddenly get tongue-tied in a language you've been trying to learn) 😅. 

The first half of the year sounded good, right? The real storm came in July/August. Already talked about it in another post, so I won't talk about it again. However, I have to say I have pretty much accepted my situation and trying to see opportunities and happiness someplace else. 

Q4 was overall happy, with the exception of the year-end closing period where a mini hell broke loose. In October, I moved back home. The deal with my parent was I would only live alone for 6 months, and so I had to make good on my promise. But soon after that, I had to pack up again for a trip to Malaysia. Despite being 2 years late,  we finally got our graduation ceremony 🎉 It was a very chill trip with minimum planning and we even had the chance to nap sometimes. The food was good and pretty cheap too! At least, compared to Singapore that is. KL, or Malaysia in general seems to be a good getaway destination when you feel like going out nearby. 

In November, we had the yearly office gathering. This time, it's in Bali. The Bali part itself is good, but we don't have much time there anyway. At least it's enough to try some good food and buy souvenirs for people at home. The true highlight of this gathering was the performance! I somehow got roped into the performance team representing our division. My dancing skillz was so bad one of my colleagues was flabbergasted. But what's important is that we all had fun, right?

Now that I've provided a recap of 2023 highlights, I'd like to present the overarching theme that I have not touched on thus far:  ✨ Romance ✨

As you probably know from one of the previous posts, something pretty exciting happened to me. But it didn't work out because of me. For various reasons, I put a stop to it. And so that ended before anything started. Actually, a similar thing happened again at the start of the year, one of the family elders tried setting me up with someone (that she doesn't even know). I don't like it, I tried my best to cut it in the bud before it progressed into anything. 

These two experiences actually convinced me that dating apps are not for me. I know that there are many successful stories of people who won't ever find each other without the app, and the relationship works out to be something beautiful. I don't know whether it's just me being too old-fashioned or this is justified, but chatting/texting with strangers feels a lot like a burden. Perhaps because that's what I do during work every day too. 

The clock keeps ticking, and as my mom puts it "You get older and your time is becoming more and more limited". One by one, my friends are finding their significant other. At the same time, I don't have the drive to move. Is it because I'm actually enjoying my state now (though I know my friends who found love are also happy)? Is it because of my living alone experiment? Or is it because I want the familiar only?

There is also the saying that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. But what is there to plan? The matters of the heart are not a controllable variable... I wish there was a handbook for human interaction or better yet, flirting for dummies. That way, I can probably make a to-do list or some kind of strategy... On the other hand, waiting it out does not seem feasible. Just like organic vegetables are more expensive than their regular counterpart, organic relationships are harder to come by. 

Not the best segue, but I have lots of responsibilities at work this year. Hoping everything will turn out fine. Let's see which one wins this year, is it personal life or work life?

Anyways, it feels good now that I have written all of this out.  You have now reached the end of my 2023 recap. Since there are still some remnants of the Valentine vibes, please enjoy this song :)