23

Wow, who would've thought that one year pass so fast? It still amazes me every year just how fleeting a year is. No matter how unbelievable it is, I still have to embrace this new age of mine.

The primary schooler me thought that by now I would have graduated and find a nice job, and maybe even find a significant other. None of that happens in reality tho :’). I’m still scrambling around with my thesis, struggling to make new friends (what more finding a boyfriend ._, ) and securing a full-time job is still a reach away. 

Rather than those achievements, the past year as a 22-year-old, I guess, was a year of self-discovery. They weren't that big of discovery, in fact, those are the in-your-face reality that was just so obvious that I missed it. I liked to see myself as an independent person who is willing to try new things and does not buckle under pressure. However, as much as I’d like to think that way I’m not as good as I thought. 

- That independence truly appears only when I’m faced in a situation where no one can help me. When I know someone is more capable than me, I step back. 

- I’m willing to try new things, but it turns out that I’m not that adventurous of a person. While I enjoy occasional trip out of the house/dorm, I’m okay too not going out! I do envy people who have the opportunity and the means to make lots of trips, but I guess my current state is fine too. 

- A combination of a completely new environment, my high-level ability to be an awkward turtle, and a soon incoming deadline of thesis pushed me out of my comfort zone so much I can no longer say confidently that I’m good under pressure. 

The year as a 22-year-old was filled with rather unpleasant changes but at the same time exciting opportunities. It was one of self-discovery, but also a year with more questions-with-no-answer. Navigating through early 20s is a challenge (or in a more positive term, adventure) rather than party-all-night-long kinda 22 that Taylor Swift sang. So, surprisingly, or not, I'm not as excited as I was for my past birthdays. 

A year older, and hopefully wiser too. There will be even more changes, crossroads and choices to make as a 23-year-old. I honestly don’t know what to expect as a 23-year-old with all the changing expectations as a soon-to-graduate student. Should I continue my studies or should I go straight to the workforce? Should I stay at home or should I continue to push myself out of my comfort zone elsewhere? My parents are not getting younger by the day and I’m pretty sure they want to take a break though they never really voice it out. Ah, the pains of growing up, thinking about problems that were never a problem back in the day. 

Anyhow, I am officially 23 now unless my ID card was recorded wrongly. It is nice to know, that there is a song to describe the predicaments (?) of a 23-year-old girl/woman (what am I?). Read the lyrics and see whether it’s applicable to you too!