Wish Granted: It's not all unicorn and rainbows (감사-ing)

I see myself mostly as a negative person - always focusing on the misfortunes rather than the silver lining. Realising that, I made learning-to-be-more-grateful a personal goal this year. 
That opportunity to learn come knocking at the door, right when everything is supposed to fall into place nicely. It turns out that learning to be grateful is not as easy as flipping a coin. 

God heard my prayer and grants it in a way I would never imagine. I thought, being more grateful only takes living my run-off-the-mill life with a changed mindset. Boy, I've never been more wrong. In reality, it may involve a quite drastic change in lifestyle, difficulties in the year(s) to come and altered plan. The problem causing all these predicaments is inevitable and has to be faced head-on. This may make me sound very spoiled, but bear with me anyways: having to leave some privileges and habits is very hard and make this whole being-grateful thing more difficult. 

Yesterday, a switch clicked in me. After I ranted quite extensively to 2 friends about this unprecedented change, I realised that I was being too ungrateful. Despite the problem, my parents still support my expensive education, we can still sleep comfortably at night and even splurge a little for food occasionally. And while it is true that I can no longer get an allowance (thus making it difficult to keep up with my usual saving scheme), I should still be grateful that I get an opportunity to earn my keep. With that, I can still attend meet-ups with friends and even save a little for my meals during student exchange. In this regard, there are still so many things to be thankful for!

Aside from that, I still get some hard to come by experiences that help me to know more people and spice up my life. Also, many of my elementary school friends are trying to keep in touch with each other again. The reason behind the formation of the group chat was unfortunate, but catching up with old friends sure brings a smile to our faces. 

I must admit, it is very weird how my brain works. Sure, this one problem triggers lots of disturbing thoughts. That I can't deny. Logically then it should be harder to see the rainbow amidst the storm. But then again, it is also easier to see the silver lining because the problem is relatively big. It almost feels like using the zoom button, you just need to shift the focus!

I just hope that I can keep this momentum. Life is not going to get easier, so the least I can do is to keep my sanity by being more positive, adjust my expectations and take pleasure in the little things in life. 

P.S. Gosh, I still have so many things I feel like I want to write about. But it's so difficult to express myself in writing?! At least, it's not as easy as it was 4 years ago TT