Forget Me Not

I remember a lot of people. But apparently not a lot of them can recall crossing paths with me.

Unforgettable people are unforgettable. That's just the way it is. And extraordinarily normal people will just blend into the background of those memories. I have people whom I really can't forget: those from primary school years, those who were close to me in junior high, and those who went through thick and thin with me in Singapore. They are people who means a lot me: encounters with them are the ones that truly shape me to be the person I am today, the person walking through this fate with those specific recollection from the past. Am I a face in their memories, though? Or, am I just one of those faces in the background? To be fair, I never intentionally make my presence known or noticed like some attention-seeking person. But it still hurts when literally only like 1% notices me in a social gathering, in a situation where everybody should know everyone (or at least remember the presence). The sad thing is, that is the truth for me.

There are a few instances when I see old friends or seniors and said "hi!" to them. It was oftentimes met with a frown, a sign that they did not actually recognise me. Only when I mention my name the tiny flicker of recognition came. This kind of situations is also the reason why I don't really like to greet the other party first, just in case they forget or has literally wiped my whole existence from their mind. With this condition, I told one of my somewhat superior/friend that I probably need to start screaming wherever I go to stamp my existence in people's mind. 

In all honesty, I usually keep a distance with people I just get to know. In a sense that I don't let go of myself, I don't act as freely as usual because I know when I let go all my bad sides will come to light. I don't know whether it's better to be so forgettable and unnoticeable or be notorious. But with this, I'm really grateful for all friends who remember me. For those friends who had went through thick and thin without ending up not liking me. I'm also slowly trying to reach out to my old comrades, bridging the gaps the years has formed between us. It is hard to change since personality is inborn and habits are toughest things to break. However in the time to come, I'd like to be a more likeable person, one whom people can comfortably confide in. So that when they remember me, they'll only remember good times.