Tired

Is it okay to feel tired now? It is only the 4th week of term 3 and I feel like dying, which is bad. I really really want to just let loose from everything for a while, but do I have the right to? A-level starts in about 100 days and that's not much time left to master everything. 
I'm tired physically. The expectations and the will to do well becomes too heavy. Rather than spurring me to do better, I feel like crashing down. Students are expected to revise and do extra papers (for almost every subjects) on top of finishing the last minute homework that the teachers give us. I am perfectly aware that all these are somewhat the requirement to do well, but isn't it a bit too much? I need to sleep to be able to stay awake during lessons. But even a 6 hour sleep has become luxury... What am I supposed to do? How do I finish everything without sacrificing my sleep?

I'm tired of loneliness. Even when there are people around me, my heart is still somewhat empty. Silence, most of the time, becomes even louder than the songs that I'm listening to. I want to talk, I want distraction from all school craziness, but I know I can't be selfish. My friends need time to do their own things too. I understand because they are in the same position as me or maybe even worse. Despite this understanding, it is still hard to ignore the loneliness that is gnawing at me. 

I'm tired of being never good enough. Being placed in a special class means that my classmates are insanely smart. At first I am happy with what I have, to be able to at least understand what the teachers are trying to say. But I realise that the treatment that I receive is somewhat different from them. I'm tired of seeing those people escaping the tight grip of some teachers just because they are more superior in the brain department. And with that realisation, comes the cold, hard truth that I'm not good enough. I want to be better, but the journey to that higher place is damn draining and lonely. 

What do I do? My usual runaway sometimes are just not enough to distract myself long enough now. I am now only holding on to that thin thread of hope that everything will be okay, everything will be worth it...

I'm sorry for whoever reading this. My words may not even make sense and I know complaining won't make anything better. I just need to let this feeling of my chest. For now, I will just go back to my work...