Flexible

EXO-K's Kai has this motto : I'd rather bend than break. Actually, I want to have this as my motto. I don't want to break, but I'm okay if I'm just bent. 

Let's say you have a plastic ruler. It is indeed a useful thing, you can draw line and, sometimes, curves with it! This is simply because it is flexible! However, there's limit to everything. When you bend it too much, it will break. And just like this special ruler, I can break. 

I've been trying to persevere through this one and a half year. I have to withstand the pressure and expectations from my parents and school. Being the first child of family means that my parents expect more from me, and being a special kind of student in school means that I have to do well. 

I'm on the verge of breaking now, I'm already worn out from all those pressure and expectations. I'm sick and tired of everything in life. People say that studying in Singapore will allow me to gain many things, leadership skill, independence, etc. But, I gained nothing but body weight! Besides that, I've been humiliated, pressured, exploited since I came here. I'm stressed! I'm tired!  When my chemistry teacher said that being tired is not a good enough reason to not do his assignment, I snapped. He's just inhumane.

Sometimes, when I'm at my lowest point, I thought of buying carbon monoxide and lock myself in a room full of that lethal gas. Luckily, I haven't done that. I'm sane enough to stop at the stage of imagining wild things. 

With my current condition, I'm pretty sure that I can barely survive this year. I'm just like a breaking plastic ruler. Can I really survive this oppressive situation?