Eighteen

I'm of legal age now! I can now watch M18 movies on the cinema freely, go to clubs (not that I want to, though), and many more! In some parts of Indonesia, I might even have to get married already ._. If not, I'll be considered old...

But then again, the whole idea of this short post is this; With older age, there will be less restrictions. With older age, comes greater responsibility. With older age, I will face more and more harsh truth of life. I don't really know whether I should be happy or sad because I'm growing older, especially because time doesn't stop for anyone.

I am still excited, though. There are many new things that I have yet to try out and many new opportunities also open up for me. So, why not just look at the bright side of life? I mean, eighteen shows that I'm still a teenager and that leads to the conclusion that I have to live my life happily (?). I'm sorry if I don't make sense, my dear readers. My brain has been infected by the post-promos-and-fangirling virus. So, yeah. 

Pray for me for the year ahead, yeah? The events awaiting ahead will be quite tough for me, I guess. So, prayers will be much appreciated ^^

As usual, I always try to relate my age to a song, which unfortunately I can't really find this time. So, this time I'll give you a song that kind of relate to my age? The word 18 comes out in this song once, so yeah. If you're really curious about this song, feel free to look up for the lyrics and translation on the internet. I'm not putting up any of the lyrics simply because I think this song relates more to boys than girls, and I'm a girl ._. (Btw, if you haven't realized I've liked BTS for quite some time now). So, here goes :)

방탄소년단 - 호르몬 전쟁

Death of Democracy

Indonesia has been a democratic nation ever since I can remember. Its democracy is a bit younger than myself, thus there is still a lot of space for improvement. But, rather than improving and flourishing it has seen its slow death. It almost feels like we're walking towards the second "New Order" era. 

Human

These few days I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster ride. Like not those scary kinds of rides, it’s the kiddy ride. You know, those with not so high peaks? This is mostly because of exam stress I guess, every little thing can cause a high fluctuation of emotion. Despite all these, I found myself a new source of happiness, I guess.

Two Different Worlds

I'd like to blame this on exam anxiety. My final exam for this year will start tomorrow and I start thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking now. Especially knowing that tomorrrow is GP paper and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for it.

Anyways, I was actually studying. But I decided to go on Instagram to search for this picture that my friend posted quite a few weeks ago because it has a quote that I might use for the exam (yeah, I know all of this is excuses). Somehow, I looked at his 'Following' list. It kind of appaled me seeing that 90% of people in that list are strangers to me. We were classmates, our mutual friends on Facebook were a lot a few years back. We knew everything that happened to each other. We shared the same memories, seeing that we were classmates for 2 years. But all of that has come to an end. We are now in two different worlds.

No, I'm not saying any of us is superior from the other. Even though experiences that we go through in Indonesia and Singapore sure will be different (much much different, in fact), they are both precious nonetheless. I'm saying that we are in two different worlds because we don't have any common stories. Should we meet, I won't understand some of the things that he is saying simply because I don't go through the same thing and I also don't have the privilege to know the same group of people.

I'm really sad about this. Sometimes I wonder what could happen if I never come to Singapore. Would our friendship stay strong? Would I find another group of friends for myself? I never really know, I don't even have the chance to try living the world that my old friends are living now.

Nonetheless, I wish them all the best and happiness, even though we're all in two different worlds now.

Damn You, Metastasis !!!

"You are diagnosed with cancer". That one sentence from the doctor could make everyone's world came crashing down. To the one diagnosed, this would be like a death sentence, especially after she knew that the damned cancer was already at a very late stage.

Oblivion

“Augustus, perhaps you’d like to share your fears with the group.”

“My fears?”

“Yes.”

“I fear oblivion,” he said without a moment’s pause.

Grateful

Since I was officially a JC student, I knew that I would be in one hell of a ride. Everyone always say how A-level is much worse than O-level, but at the same time JC is also very fun. Now, I can surely confirm that this IS indeed true. Just as Hazel Grace said in 'The Fault in Our Stars'*, "You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories. And we made the funny choice."