This blog is 10 years old!

Wow, how time flies! Never thought something I started as a 15-year-old will still survive after 10 years, but here we are. 

This blog started as somewhat a desperate effort to improve my English just a few months shy of my departure to Singapore. At that time, a land of the unknown. Then, without realizing it, Singapore became a home and soon the blog evolved from a collection of attempts at essays to a personal diary. After a few years, I had to come back home for good. I guess, my writings start to be bleaker (?) because I felt like I under-achieved and what-not. But one thing remains the same, this blog is a place of comfort for me (and a silent witness to my English prowess progress and regress). 

With 10 years under its belt, this blog has been together with me through many recorded and unrecorded moments. It's only appropriate to celebrate by recalling the decade through song, in true puzzle-of-the-life fashion. 

2011

Leaving everything you know for unchartered territory was hard. It was especially so since my last year of junior high in Indonesia was more than great. I had lots of fun and made a lot of great friends. These classmates threw me a farewell meet-up, gave me a teddy bear (that I still treasure to this day) and some even sent me off to the airport. I didn't know whether I can meet the same kind or maybe even better people in the new place. 

My roommates (lovingly nicknamed Cute and Sexy) shared the same sentiment. So this song, "Wish You Were Here" by Avril Lavigne quickly became our anthem. A particularly memorable episode with this song was when we had to scrub our ensuite bathroom for the first time. We tweaked the song a little bit to fit our situation more. We were pretty sad that day, but it now becomes a funny episode we can laugh at together. 

2012

Perhaps, we can claim this as CPS' debut stage. I can't really remember what lead up to this moment, was it a teacher who told us to perform, or was it us who volunteered? But anyway, we put on our kebaya and sang this in front of the whole school on Racial Harmony Day. Our seniors, in particular, had front row seats and had a blast teasing us when we go back to the dorm. It's a pity handphone were banned during school times, so we had no video of that historic moment. 

Around the same time, we had two of our Malaysian friends leaving our school. One was gone mysteriously before school started again after the holidays, so we had no opportunity to say our goodbyes. (Fret not, it turns out she resolved to go back home by herself. A bold move, but nonetheless she was safe). Then in a span of few weeks, another one decided to leave for good as well. She departed after school one day, so there was not much we could do for her. With the limited time and resources we had, some of us sang this song for her because we knew she kinda like this song and the short time we had together was nice. 

Looking back, singing like that was cheesy AF. But at least we had no regrets for being able to send off a friend home properly. 

My personal history, I think, changed right when I heard this song for the very first time. Never was interested in One Direction when they were on X-factor or when they released their debut song. But somehow, this song was recommended on my Youtube. I instantly fell in love. Hard. During the holidays, I started looking for their older music and videos. This also lead me to put up some of their posters in my dorm room the next year. I even made a second Twitter account just to vote for some award they were nominated in. Crazy times. 

We loved our seniors so much we wanted to make a video as their farewell gift. For one of the scenes, this song was the BGM. It was certainly an unprecedentedly fun project after a year of struggling with school work. The video, however, will never be shared here because we agree it's as embarassing as it was fun making it. 

2013

For Total Defence Day, all classes had to perform something. Our class decided to make a skit involving this song. I can't exactly remember the scenario but it definitely involved some kind of kicking around and folded umbrellas. That was one of the more fun memories in school at the time. 

What month was it? My dearest roommate, Sexy, showed this video to me one fine day. We kept saying the dance was weird and whatnot. But somehow the weird dance kinda wore the love potion off of One Direction. After some time, she stopped playing the video and I found myself missing the song. From then on, I knew I fell hard. This one video made me research pretty much the history of K-pop. I even found some of the less known groups and listened to their songs religiously. If One Direction was a crazy time, this was an even crazier time. 

Roommies got me an EXO album and some merchandise for my seventeenth birhday that year! If that was not peak fanhood, then I don't know what is?

Another side effect of falling into K-pop was dreaming of becoming a rapper. That's totally absurd. So absurd that my newer friends were surprised when I told them this fact. 

Again, I can't remember what celebration that was for, but we were asked to perform something for some kind of dinner with teachers. It was CPS' collaboration with our juniors! We chose to cover "Bukalah Semangat Baru" and naturally the rapper in me asked for the rap part. The rap part was split into two, but that's good enough because we had quite a few of us performing. If I remember correctly, I nailed my part and was very happy for the rest of the night 😁

2014

This was the start of yet another era. I was the most stressed on this period but also the happiest. These two songs were played during our school orientation as a mass dance and couple dance respectively. And because of that, these 2 songs were played in almost all school activities. Can barely remember the moves now but just listening to these songs always reminded me that I had made a very good choice back in 2014. Though my grade wasn't the best, I experienced lots here and made friends with some of the greatest people I've ever met.

Yes, this song was released in 2015. But the moment I first heard, it took me right back to 2014. That year I lost 2 important people, my grandma and a friend. 

I was, of course, sad when she passed away. After all, she was the only grandparent I've ever had. The other 3 have passed on many many years earlier. I can still remember when I was little, she used to give me my favorite food when she came over. When she was still healthy, she also always welcome us to her house chatting away for hours until it was finally time for us to go home. It was sad to see her go. But I'm pretty sure it was a relief for herself, because her health had been on a decline for quite a few years and she couldn't even communicate. It was sad, but as bad as it sounds, it was to be expected. The doctors had told us to prepare ourselves many months before. Also eternally grateful to friends whom I just knew but still take their time to comfort me in those times. 

Devastated. Shocked, perhaps? My friend's departure was so sudden. There were still lots of plans yet to be fulfilled. A bright future, waiting to be realized. But his life was gone, probably in only a few seconds. To this day, thoughts about him still floats around in my mind. There are just too many what-ifs that can never be answered. 

2015

I signed up to be an OGL (orientaation group leader, if i'm not wrong). So, I got join in on the orientation fun once again. This song in particular was reminiscent of 2015 orientation because the mass dance song remains the same while the couple dance song was changed to this one. Got to know so much more people because of this event and also played a lot in the period when we were supposed to study hard. 

Maybe the particular episode I can share from this period was when I ran all the way to the supermarket because I needed to make honey lemon drink and curfew was only in a few minutes. Becoming an OGL meant you use your voice A LOT. Like a lot, a lot. My OGL partner lost his voice after the second day. And I felt like it's my personal mission to make sure of his well-being because, at least in my eyes, the OG kids loved him a lot more than they like me. So yeah, ran to the supermarket to buy honey and lemon. Gave him that mug of warm concoction. And next day his voice was back!

As the big exam slowly crept up on us, the nightly study session became a norm. Studied together mostly with B, our new roommate, in the so-called computer room. Only one year together but made so much memories together! One day, I showed her this song and she liked it. On a particularly slow day for the computer room, there were only two of us in the room. We attempted to follow the dance for this song. Please notice the keyword here is "attempt". Pretty sure we moved like worms rather than dancing 😂

You know how when an important exam or deadline is looming you tend to do something else? I guess this was what happened. Around that time I was also somewhat obsessed with BTS and the MV theory. Discussed about this a lot with the ice cream gang. Even the non-K-poppers also joined and laughed along. Waiting for classes with them was never boring. 

Oh so near to A-levels and yet I still managed to like another group. I fell in love at first listen! Didn't even know them, wasn't very interested with the visuals too, just the song itself drew me into Day6! Showed this song to a junior and she cried :')

Liking Day6 was a ride. Because of them, I had an album that was bought with my own money. I also watched their first fanmeeting in Singapore (oh, how I want to relive that day!). I remembered I went to exchange my ticket just a day before my Chemistry paper 1 exam. Brought my notebook along and revised while in queue. Some people were bewildered seeing someone reading so intently on a K-pop line :') 

2016

I missed my friends. There were kilometres of land and even the vast sea separating us. 'nuff said. 

*This song was also sung the previous year for a farewell to another friend who did not finish in the same school.

I hated this song with a passion. It's just so weird! But this ended up being one of my favorite NCT songs. So I just want to share it here to tell you, to please don't judge a song by the first listen only 👍

2017

This song was, if I'm not mistaken, a sign of my social life revival. 

I didn't really know how to make friends. I mean I do have friends in uni. But there was nothing exciting to talk about I guess? 

But then the topic of Produce 101 season 2 came up. I read every article about it and watched the show intently (remember how I always give it my all when I start liking something?). So when classmates talked about it, I joined in the conversation pretty passionately. Then the rest was history. 

2018

The Produce 101 people continues the hype with this song. "Boss" was and is a legendary song in many ways. This song convinced this friend that NCT has good songs. 

Lucas in particular brought us so much joy. It is a real pity that behind the happy-go-lucky persona, there is a womanizing cheater. I still hope this is all a cruel prank, but I really can't see how he can come back to the industry unscathed. 

22 was somewhat a milestone age for me just because I'd been waiting for years to finally say I'm qualified to sing the song 😅 If you're around my age you probably share the same sentiment with me on this one.

2019

2019 was the period when I had a lot of self-doubts. I was thinking a lot whether I was really me, or was I just showing whatever people wanted to see me as. So this song resonated a lot at that time. 

*bonus is that NCT's Mark also liked the song

It was during the student exchange period. Friends came down from Seoul and we went to Haeundae. By chance, we were watching a person busking and he sang this song! Friends said I looked like I was falling in love. 

I was so moved I immediately followed this singer on Instagram. Few days later I also commented under his performance viedo in Haeundae even though I hardly ever leave a comment anywhere. But I think he deleted the video from Youtube. But please do check out his channel :)

2020

2019 was definitely lots of fun despite the lack of belief in myself. 2020, however is a 180. 

If 2020 is a country, I'd like to declare "Zombie" as the national anthem. 

This playlist literally helped me survive through 2020. Sometimes I still listen to it (and add some songs) even though I've played it so many times last year. 

Speaking of surviving 2020, I'm very grateful for the existence of free video call and even just regular call. Even the introvert me crave genuine social interactions, and the occasional catch-up with friends and brother often times fueled me to work through the week. 

2021

The year has yet to end and COVID-19 also doesn't look like it's going away soon. I still mostly listen songs that I like from a year ago. Aside from new Day6 songs, this song also climbed up on my list. Give this one a listen and I hope it will give you a little comfort too. 

Writing this post took way longer than I expected, but taking a trip down memory lane was (mostly) a blast. Friends, if you happen to stumble upon this post, do you remember all those times too? I hope this puts a smile on your face, as it has when I wrote this 😘