Catching Up (Covid-19 Edition)

How are you doing? I hope you are healthy and can still find reasons to smile even during this trying time. Anyways, let's catch up a little. It's around 1am now, and isn't it the best time to talk? That's when all the feels come out after all. 

It has been around 6 weeks of work from home for me. The only people I've truly interacted face to face are my parents. This lack of choice to go out and genuine human interaction is killing me - someone who prides herself as an introverted homebody. Technology helps a lot though. Have been having weekly video calls with old friends from different stages of my life. Those calls, they did wonders. After a long week of repetitive work, talking with friends and reminiscing our times together lifted up my mood. And those truly helps me to push through the week after, when I have to face countless invoices for my internship again. 

On days, when I just cannot take it anymore (but still have to process all dem invoices) I would imagine myself walking under a sky full of stars on a calm night preferably with someone else. The mood is set by blasting songs like Shall We by Chen and look at me by george, oh how they sound so good! When I'm really stressed tho, I will slightly ruin them by singing along at the top of my lungs while typing away numbers on the work laptop. 

What I really want to talk about this time is not my music taste tho. I want to talk about how repetitive work and lack of human interaction has created a void. Just like how substances tend to fill in empty rooms, this void has attracted stifling thoughts that may or may not be important. I'm graduating really soon and the future that I've been dreading about is finally right in front of my eyes. The coming months will be very uncertain. Will I find a job in this tumultuous time? Will I like my job when I do have one? This questions then take me back to 2015. I remembered one evening when my roommate found me crying alone in our room. On that one random day, I suddenly thought about what can happen in 10 years. The questions were pretty similar with ones I just mentioned and some more. Now that I've been doing some more thinking, 10 years is indeed long, but also not that long. It's almost 9 years since I first wrote on this blog and I can still remember pretty vividly the excitement of setting up this blog. The first k-pop group that I liked just had their 8th anniversary and I can still remember how I came to like them and the feeling when I finally admitted that I like them. 

Sure, those 10 years were not always rainbows and sunshine. There were drizzles and storms here and there. And I'm pretty sure the next 10 years will be so too. The future is scary, yes. Admitting that it is scary will not help remove the uncertainty. Thinking about the uncertainty will not help the situation as well. But, I guess if we take it one step at a time the future is not that daunting. I mean, I passed the last 10 years pretty much in a blink of an eye. Happy days, so-so days, and bad days were, are and will all be part of the package. That is a constant, and if you remember that some things do not change, I think it can be a bit of an assurance that everything will end up fine just like it always does. 

IDK if I'm making any sense with this sleep-laden brain. But I hope it is a nice catch-up and maybe can help you in one way or another. See you next time!