It goes without saying that most people in their early 20s start thinking about the societal pressure that will come attack from left and right as soon as they graduate from university. This is, I believe, is especially true for people in Indonesia and it definitely applies to me because I felt it full force this week.
It all started last Saturday. My class was having our miraculously-too-long lunch break that day. What started off as teasing each other for the lack of romantic partners turned into a full blown discussion about ideal age for marriage. Now, due to various reasons, I am 2 years older than the rest of my classmates. And they also realise my lack of love life even at my "old age". That day, they recommended that I should probably move church or search for a new community so that I can meet new people and perhaps even find love. This was not the first time I have heard a similar advice. Should I actually act on this advice so that I can stop mourning over songs that make me think about the end of a relationship I have yet to experience?
Sunday was fairly peaceful, but it was definitely not so much on Monday. Both my parents sat me down during dinner and talked to me about a similar theme. Age matters. That was the bottom line. I will be graduating from university at an older age than my peers, and I still would like to pursue masters degree if it is possible. My parents, especially my father, felt like I seriously need to reconsider my dreams of getting master's degree because of the following reasons:
- I will be even older when I start my career
- It is probably easier to find a match at work if I start "on time"
- Guys may find "intelligent" girls intimidating or out of their league
While I do see the rationale behind these reasons, I really can't help but think how restricting it is to be a girl/woman (what am I, really?) in her 20s. My guy classmate especially agrees on the 3rd argument, but I find it the most.... "urgh"-inducing reason. My reason? It's not like the moment a female graduates from masters she will suddenly be untouchable, turns to a mean workaholic and whatnot. Titles do not define who you are. On the flip side, as long as the guy is kind, is honest, is responsible I don't see why not having masters degree make him less a desirable person. Years ago I told my friends that my type is someone who is not so bad-looking that I would be angry just at the sight of his face, is not so stupid that we cannot make any decent conversation, is not so poor that we cannot even put a roof over our heads. Yes, it is a very simplistic standard but I guess from that you should be able to understand why reason no. 3 doesn't sit well with me (even though I do concede that it contains some brutally honest truth). Having said all of the above, my parents would still support me should I get the opportunity to take that master's degree, so all is good.
It doesn't end there. Remember that class discussion on Saturday? Apparently there was a part 2 of that on Tuesday. This time, another classmate recommended to make a contract with a guy friend so that if none of us have gotten married at a certain age, we can get married instead. The problem is, this is real world that works differently from fan-fictions. There's no prince on the back of a white horse that will suddenly find a random damsel in distress to marry.
On that same day, Instagram and Twitter also recommended contents of similar theme. So what are you trying to say to me, universe? How come this topic is repeatedly brought up this particular week?
For now, I'll take it as a friendly reminder that I should probably think about my future more, rather than keep going back to the rose-tinted nostalgia that will not do me any good. Having said that, let the problem of tomorrow be for tomorrow because today has its own fair share of problem. My best shot for now is to let go and let God.
No comments:
Post a Comment