The past one year I've gone through as a 20 year old has been eventful. I've become closer to the people I'll be seeing for 4 years, I've made new friends through works as committee and many more. There are many things to be grateful for because despite the hard days there was always some kind of reward at the end of the day. Be it in the form of new friendship, small throwbacks with my dearest roommates and many more.
My rational side perfectly knows how blessed I am. What more can a person wish for? I have supportive family, old friends who are willing to help and new friends trusting in my capabilities. But I guess the heart cannot lie. Midterms is fast approaching, events by events are waiting to be organised, some plans are definitely not working out. Maybe last night was my breaking point. I was thinking about people I can approach to pour out my heart but everyone certainly has their own problem and I don't want to be that insensitive b**** who complains to someone who has bigger problem than I am. I honestly also don't want to tell my parents because I'm the supposedly reliable first child. Those I am comfortable enough to share my problems with are on different time zones and it's damn impractical to force them stay awake just to listen to my sob story.
Maybe I have to learn to take a step back and let go of some responsibilities I have assumed. Take a breather. Live a little more. And most of all, I need to acknowledge(?) a close circle of friends because I'm feeling awfully alone despite the fact that I'm surrounded by so many wonderful people who are willing to at least listen to me.So, there's that. I can only hope to be a more positive person in the coming days.
Lastly, this is the song that currently resonates with my condition. And apparently it is supposedly released on my birthday but some cultural thing happens and they bring forward the release.
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