Selfish and Insensitive

I'm a terribly self-centered and insensitive person. 

People have been telling me that I'm mature and the advises I give are good. But has it ever occurred to them that it's because I'm an overly-pragmatic and insensitive person? I am pretty well-aware of this fact, given my difficulty of making friendships that can last a lifetime. No one likes to talk to someone who will just disregard their feeling and just give pragmatic suggestions. But the fact is that I am that unfeeling person and I am not proud of that. 

Just because I can't blame anyone, I would blame that 4 years roller-coaster ride in Singapore. I would say that the harsh 4 years has brought up the most selfish side of me. In a sense, I was used to doing many things alone. Yes, I did have some friends but doing many things by myself was also okay. I was fully in charge of my time and my things. If people didn't want to do something that I wanted, then I would just go by myself to fulfill those irrational wants. Wasn't that very selfish of me?

I'm an insensitive person. I didn't realize that my class is slowly breaking apart because I see everything from behind rose-tinted glass. I choose to join in when things favor me, when I can feel happy with them. I think of my own problems so much that I forget to look around and care about the people that supposedly matter to me. A classmate told me in the face that I'm too insensitive and detached because I choose to immerse myself in books and my phone. Hearing that was like receiving a punch in the gut, a necessary torment I must say. This is actually the one that got me really thinking about all this. 

I've been telling many people that I'm trying to be more sensitive, which is a good thing. But it seems that I haven't tried enough, I have become even more oblivious than last year. I can't even see such a huge thing happening right in front of my eyes every single day. I've been telling myself to be more considerate to the people around me, but I've been throwing mini tantrums because I can't get what I want from my parents. Why do I feel like I'm becoming worse as I get older? 

Having wishes is so easy, so so easy that I've been saying that "I wish to be more sensitive to the people around me" very often. However, none of that wishes actually yield in any changes of personality. They don't make me a better person whom people can trust with their deepest secrets and predicaments. They don't help me to be a person who can confidently say "I've been a good friend". 

I am nothing but a selfish and insensitive girl, trying to fit in a world where people value tender hearts. There is no one to blame for the current situation I'm in, in a state where no one feels truly comfortable with me as I am. Can anyone tell me how to break out of this invisible jail (most probably a self-built confinement)?