Many people will probably try to kill me if I say I didn't do well. Well, truth to be told, my results weren't all that bad but it's definitely not good enough for me to boast around, not good enough to take some financial burden from my parents. Maybe I won't feel as bad if none of my HCer mates were actually called up to the stage for their outstanding results. The fact is that all of the HCer from my house are called up, everyone but me. This little fact actually made people around me extra careful when talking about me. A former teacher actually apologized for saying "congratulations" to me, a junior held herself back from asking about my results. I am really grateful for this small gestures, but really, looking from another perspective this is supposed to be a happy occasion because I have finally graduated!
Regret always comes later, that is something that all of us are familiar with. Regret makes us question the things that we have done in the past. Had I been more diligent, would I get better score? Had I dropped my econs, would things be better? Had I put TJC as my second choice, would I even need to think about this? A sure thing is that all the decisions and choices that I took lead to where I am today, galau-ing over my results. All sorts of question pop up and I can't answer them simply because what's done is done and there is no changing it. All I can do is to accept the truth and actually work towards a better future.
Putting the blame on someone or something else for my not so satisfactory results is easy. It somewhat takes some burden off my shoulder because the effect is not by my doing. I could have blamed the teachers, the school or anything under the sun but that's just very wrong. I got what I got because of me, people got what they got because they deserve it. That is probably why I said "I'm sorry" instead of "thank you" to my form teachers because what happened to me is not because of them, it's all me.
The future is uncertain, of course. With this kind of result, my ideal near future is very far. But a new day always bring a new hope. I wish I can wake up refreshed tomorrow morning and walk towards my future with more confidence.
The song below is 'I' by Taeyeon. When I read the meaning to the lyrics I actually feel a little bit more uplifted (thanks to the dinner with friends too!). I hope you can enjoy this song as much as I do.
With that, I'm ending my post. See you in the near future :)
No comments:
Post a Comment