I'm Just a Crumpled Up Piece of Paper

Since I came here, I finally understand the meaning of love, the love from family, friends, and even neighbours. But why do I have to realize this so late? Simple, it's because I've never felt really loved here. Sure, there are a few people who actually offer me a genuine friendship. However, actually there are more people who treat me like a robot that doesn't need to be loved.

Today, I was, in a way, publicly humiliated by someone that I respected. Someone whom I considered as a good leader. However, today's events will forever leave a scar in my heart and change the way I see that person. I know now, that she choose to make her 'followers' obey her because of fear. Sorry madam, that choice was a huge mistake. My respect to you is now gone, I will see you in fear from now on. 

A tear is a symbol of weakness. I had to hold back myself from crying when I actually need to let it all out. I can say that I’ve gone through lots of trouble, but it just never stop coming to my life. With this piled up problems, stress, and homesickness, I still had to deal with this humiliation. Who in the right mind will not be pissed and hurt when these come across to their life? Besides, I don’t have my mom beside me to soothe me. The love that I need is not here to heal my scar.

If I were able to turn back time and change my decision, I would take that chance. By saying no, I won’t even come here. That way I won’t even need to meet this person. And I won’t feel this wrecked.

After I came here, I am not the same person anymore. I feel like I’m just a crumpled up piece of paper lying on the floor, waiting to be thrown away. And even if someone try to save me, no one can get rid of the crumple, it's permanent.