포장 (Cover)

그 사람이 말한다. 

"선물? 너가 최고의 선물이지!"

포장지 뜰어도 같은 생각일까?

타블로 - 블로노트

That person said, 
"Present? You're the best present!"
I wonder if he will still think the same after opening the wrapping paper?
Tablo - Blonote

The fact that I can make a whole post because of this quote shows Tablo truly achieved his goal: making the writings in the book as a start of thoughts. 

Now, before we move further along, please do listen to the song below. This song came to my mind as soon as I read the aforementioned quote. The experience will be better if you understand the lyrics!

So, what makes me reflect after reading the quote/listening to the song? I think I've been holding back so much that people around me may not really know who I am as a person (damn, even I don't completely know myself!). What they've been seeing is the nicely packaged version that I'd like people to see. Problem is even this version has a lot of flaws that can be easily seen through. 

It's been a recurring theme in this blog about how I want to change. Isn't that also a form of setting-up the cover? While it's true that I want to "change for the better", it also shows that I'm trying to mould myself into a person people around me wants or needs. Am I doing it to be more accepted? Or is it sincerely what I want for myself? I don't even know anymore, need a lot more time to think about this.  

I hope I won't burn out keeping up this facade. I hope that there will come a time I can reveal my true self without any disguise. I hope that both me on stage and off stage will never be alone: because they are both me, even the shabby-looking one. 

I hope when the future me reads this, she would have found her answer. If not, this will be a timely reminder to find "the true me" in the midst of this increasingly chaotic world. 


P.S. This post was written a few days back. Wasn't posted on the same day so that there will be no interruption during the 30-day challenge

30 Day Challenge: A journey

So, my 30 Day Challenge finally ended yesterday. The one month truly passed like a blur, I can't believe that it's already December now.

Having said that, the challenge proved that writing, although can be very fun, needs to be well thought-out for it to mean anything. I also noticed that some (actually, most) posts are not as long as I had expected when I first started it. Maybe I didn't do this quite properly, so I'll definitely give this another try with a given minimum word count next year.

Nevertheless, I think this was a good experience. It taught me that writing does not have to be perfect. Starting with a few words is better than not writing at all. With this in mind, I think I'll write my fanfic more consistently from now on 😬. 

And now that the 30 Day Challenge has ended, you can definitely expect drastically less posts this month. However, one thing you can certainly look forward to is the yearly "in retrospect" post! See you next time :)