2016 is not exactly a year I can be very proud about. A lot happened in the span of one year despite the lack of schooling activities at the the first half of the year.
The peace was short-lived. A-level results were finally out in March. It was finally time to truly consider available opportunities and take definite steps that will lead to another major part of my life, university. My dream constantly changed year to year, at least that was the case up to early 2013. Having been able to maintain the same dream for more than 2 years was really quite a feat to me. I wished to study food science and technology. People say, the way to a person's heart is through food. People say, you are what you eat. These are exactly the reasons why I held on to this dream for so long. But my grade was not good enough for a foreigner trying to find a place in the country I call home for 4 years. With that, I had to bury that dream and build a new one from scratch: accounting, the most sensible choice in my situation.
By signing-up for accounting, I have to re-think and re-imagine my future, something I have yet to complete until now. It also means I have to re-adjust to a culture that I'm supposedly accustomed to, most of my friends live with this culture after all. I felt and still somewhat feel like an outsider, a puzzle piece that does not fit anywhere in the picture. Starting from trivial things such as chatting messengers to anything in between. The fact that I'm older than all my classmates by around 2 years does not help either. It feels like being lost in a one-way street. I have no choice but to walk on this path simply because it's the only one. But even so I still find it difficult to follow whatever there is.
Every cloud has a silver lining. My situation is not thaat bad, there are even some positive things I gain from this whole happening and state of confusion. It provides an opportunity to make up for lost times with my family, it is also time to mend broken relationship with old friends. These are the things that would never happen if I stay in another country. Things are still awkward with most of old friends, we are back to saying-hi phase. I'm also still not used to with some of my in-the-brink-of-puberty little brother, he is still the cute little brother I left 5 years ago in my mind. But things will surely get better.
In 2017, I hope to be a more flexible person, one who can adapt to any new situations. I also hope that I can maintain the level of relationship I have with people who matter the most and overcome the bridge between my classmates/old friends and myself.
