The Pencil

This is one of the post where I become some deep poetic thinker or something like that. This thought just suddenly came to me few days ago when I was holding this one particular mechanical pencil of mine. This pencil is something that I've been holding dear since I was in primary 5 which was pretty long time ago. It is particularly special to me now because of the one who gave it to me, because of what it represents: our friendship. Now, looking at the pencil, I am always reminded of that. A relationship so beautiful yet so fleeting. 
I received the pencil on our last (official) meeting in primary school. Since then (in fact, until now), I always bring it to the exam hall just because it gives me some weird form of assurance that I am not alone in the "battlefield". It kinda feels like he's with me during exam which somewhat helps me to calm down, I've never told anyone before but I consider this pencil my lucky charm. Maybe it was because the friend who gave this pencil was special to me. He was special because he made me do something that I've never done before and rarely do even now. I have never been the type to continue texting or calling my friends after we separate ways, it's troublesome, time-consuming and I simply don't know what to say. But with him, everything just flowed so naturally. Daily calls became a habit - almost a necessity even. It was so until we stopped talking to each other in junior high school for some unknown reason.  

Before I had that pencil, I always regarded it as the "expensive kind" because it's pretty, have the reputation of being durable, and of course rather pricey for a primary school student stationery. When I first received the pencil, I was delighted because there was no way that I would ask my parents to buy me that beautiful pencil. As I used it almost everyday in class, the color became dull and eventually blackened by graphite. As the years went, cracks developed on the pencil cap. Even the most long-lasting and prettiest pencil will break someday without the proper care.

The journey of the pencil, I feel, aptly shows the state of our friendship over the years. First, it was hard to come by, even the fact that we came to know each other was fascinating in itself! Then I realize how precious our friendship is, it was a privilege to have a friend from other school. The daily calls convinced me that it was beautiful because we shared some common interests and there was no need to be embarrassed about ourselves. Maybe I took it for granted. Had I been more initiative and kinder in junior high school , our friendship may still continue. Now, it has 'cracked' and 'ashen'. There is nothing more to marvel except for the enchanting past. Just like the pencil that is simply functional now, our friendship has been reduced to just acquaintance. 

Having reflected on this, I hope I can move on as a better person and friend, and I hope, really really hope that the relationship with my current friends can blossom prettily.